How should I pray for my adult children?

We as parents love our children and want what is best for them.  We want them to have a relationship with God.  We want them to be successful and financially stable adults.  Do you pray for your adult children, but never seem to see any results?  Are you wasting your time?  Are you praying for the wrong things?  How and what should you pray for? 

Recently my small group Bible study  has been reading and studying the book "The Power of Praying For Your Adult Children" by Stormie Omartian.  And what great insights she has on praying for our adult children.  We begin praying for our kids when they are young, but as they get older we really don't know how or what to pray for.  She tells us just what we need to know.  This post is taken from her book with some of my thoughts added.  I hope you will enjoy this and get some ideas of how you should be praying.  - And I highly recommend you get the book.

Seven things every parent needs to know:

1. Being a parent never stops, if you really care about your child's well-being.  When they become adults, they make decisions and choices on their own.  We as parents want to express our concerns and give advice, but may not have an opening to do so or our advice is not wanted or accepted.  We can go to God with our concerns and ask Him to do something on behalf of our adult children.  If we trust that God hears and answers our prayers,  it can change their lives.

2. We need to know that we can't fix our adult children.  Only God can make changes in them.  Our job is to release them into God's hands and keep praying for them.

3. We need to know that God can change everything.  It's hard to know what to do and what not to do for them.  Only God can give you wisdom about these things.  Prayer is not telling God what to do, but it's partnering with Him for His will to be done.  We must believe that God loves you and your adult children and He will hear your prayers.  Believe He can deliver you from fears and give you and your adult children what you need when you ask for it.  No matter how big your adult children's problems are, God is greater.  Believe that your prayers have power.

4. We need to know we must stop blaming ourselves.  Don't feel guilty of how good or not so good you have raised them.  We are not perfect.  God is the perfect parent and looked what happened to His children.  We need to walk with God daily and ask Him for wisdom about everything.  You can ask Him to free you from any guilt.  Don't be discouraged.  Discouragement is a sign you need to spend more time with God so He can encourage you.

5. We need to know we have to forgive.  Forgiveness has to flow in us before the power of the Holy Spirit flows through us when we pray.  "If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear." - Psalm 66:18.  So forgive your adult children for anything they may have done to hurt or disappoint you.

6.  We need to know there is only one perfect parent.  That is God Himself.  There are no perfect parents on earth.  "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." - Proverbs 22:6.  If you didn't know the Lord when your children were young and didn't train them in His ways, it's not too late.  You can still go to God and confess and ask for forgiveness for your mistakes.  Ask Him to now show you how to pray for your adult children.

7. We need to know you can say "For this adult child I prayed".  These words were spoken by Hannah in 1 Sam. 1:27.  Her prayer is one of the greatest examples of a parents prayer.  If you have not dedicated your child to the Lord, do it now and release him to God's hands.

Start now praying for your adult children.

Lord,

I pray you would teach me how to pray for my children.  Set me free from all worry and concern and give me peace.  I now release them to you.  Thank you for loving me and my children.  Help me not to feel guilty for things I have done or not done in their lives.  Help me to forgive myself and anyone who has hurt my children.  Thank you for hearing my prayers.  Give me faith to believe and patience to wait for the answers.  I give you all the praise and the glory.  In Jesus' name I pray. 

Amen.

Now that you have released and dedicated or rededicated your adult children into the hands of God, here are a few things you can pray for:

Pray that they will welcome an outpouring of the Holy Spirit.

Pray that they will be influenced by the Holy Spirit of truth.

Pray for their hearts will be turned toward the Lord and open to receive Him.

Pray that they have a desire to know God better and become more like Him.

Pray that their heart will be closed to the lies of the enemy and open to God's truth.

Pray that they have the desire to have a repentant heart and know what God has done..

Pray that God will give them wisdom, discernment and revelation.

Pray that they have freedom in Christ, deliverance and restoration.

Pray that they understand God's purpose for their lives.

Pray that they work successfully and have financial stability.

Pray that they have a sound mind and the right attitude.

Pray that they resist evil influences and destructive behavior.

Pray that they avoid all sexual pollution and temptation.

Pray that they experience good health and God's healing.

Pray that they enjoy a successful marriage and raise godly children.

Pray that they maintain strong and fulfilling relationships.

Pray that they walk into the future God has for them.

 Her book goes in more detail giving examples of prayers on each of the above suggestions on things to pray.  She lists many, many Scriptures concerning how, what, and why we should pray for our children.  Never give up praying for them.  God wants them to come to Him and be happy more than we do.  If you don't see results, don't be discouraged.  We must remain faithful and trust God.  We must wait on His timing.

 

Is TV Helping or Hurting Our Lives?

When I was a child, there was not much TV to watch.  Only a few cartoons and kids shows like Howdy Doody and Mickey Mouse Club.  I would have rather played outside with my friends or played with toys and games.  Even my parents only watched things like the news or a variety show like Ed Sullivan.  My parents didn't have to worry about TV dulling my brain or my creativity.  The movies I went to see where wholesome and uplifting.

Today is very different.  There are a lot of enticing programs and movies to get us and our children's attention.  There is so much offensive material such as bad language and immorality being displayed as normal behavior.  Sitcoms are the worst.  Our kids don't have a chance.  Our senses become immune to what is right and wrong.   "Woe to those who call evil good and good evil." - Is. 5:20.

Promiscuity is all over TV and movies.  Every show has some kind of sexual content or language.  Homosexuality is portrayed as a normal life style.  That is not what God intended.  "Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for degrading of their bodies with one another.  They exchanged the truth of God for a lie." - Rom. 1:4-25.  "God gave them over to shameful lusts.  Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones.  In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another.  Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion." - Rom. 1:26-27.

Our children are led to believe that being a virgin is a bad thing and sex before marriage is the norm.  Adults are also led to that belief.  Every show that has a man and a woman going on a "date" shows the next scene of them jumping in bed together as if that were the normal progression instead of waiting for marriage.  The one night stands seem to be popular these days - or living together before marriage.  I don't think that is what God had in mind. 

 

Even TV commercials are suggestive and pollute our minds.  Not only are TV and movies to blame, but so are video games, magazines, billboards, and song lyrics.  Watching such sexually polluting images will stay in our minds.  It will always be there.  Sexual pollution is powerful.  The enemy will keep those images flashing back which gives him a stronghold in our lives if we let him. 

Be selective as to what you and your children watch.  Do whatever is necessary to avoid anything that is a temptation.  We can ask God to keep us strong and to not give into the desires these images can produce.  Ask God to help you and your children not be drawn into sexual pollution, but to turn away.  You can change the channel, walk out of the theater, throw those magazines away, turn off the radio, turn off the Internet site, and don't buy that CD or video game.  Find a good book to read.  Better yet, how about opening your Bible and read God's Word.

"A prudent man foresees evil and hides himself; the simple pass on and are punished." - Prov. 27:12.

"For everything in the world - the craving of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does - comes not from the Father but from the world." - 1 John 2:16.

Watching TV steals time from our children for activities that actually develop their brains.  They need to interact with other people and playing.  It takes time away that they need to develop important skills like language and social skills.  It takes time away from reading and improving reading skills.  Experts say kids who watch entertainment TV are less likely to read books.  It causes them to have trouble paying attention and have shorter attention spans.  Experts also say the kids who watch 3 hours of TV, videos, or DVDs a day had a higher chance of conduct problems and relationship problems by age 7 than those who did not.  It can cause them to become insensitive to violence and cause aggressive and violent behavior.

TV exposes kids to negative influences and promotes negative behavior.  It shows violence, alcohol, drug use and sex in a positive light.  It teaches them that violence is a way to solve conflict.  When kids watch too much TV, they tend to snack on junk food and are influenced by commercial to eat unhealthy food.  Watching TV affects our kids health and athletic ability.  They can become obese and less fit since they aren't running, jumping and doing activities that burn calories and increase metabolism.

TV is not all bad.  There are good educational programs that educate, inform and inspire.  Studies show that kids who watch educational and non-violent shows do better on reading and math tests than those who do not watch these programs. 

So instead of letting your child watch TV, get him in a reading habit by reading to him.  You can invite a friend over for a play date.  Do a puzzle with your child. If you need some more suggestion for activities to do instead of watching TV?  Check out this website for 100 Things to Do Instead of Watching TV - http://slapdashmom.com/100-things-to-do-instead-of-watching-tv/

Set an example for your children.  Turn off the TV and get a hobby, do landscaping, workout, or play a sport.  Here is a website with some more suggestions: http://voices.yahoo.com/addiction-television-25-things-instead-of-282377.html?cat=9

A Christmas Poem

This is a re-post of my original Christmas poem.

It’s the Christmas season

and we all know what that means.

Shopping, pageants and parties

with stress in between.

It’s the time of the year,

when we think more about our fellow man.

We show our love by giving gifts

to the less fortunate when we can. 

But, why be so nice

just at this time of the year?

Could it be the first Christmas

that we remember so dear?

When a long time ago a man Joseph

and his wife Mary,

Traveled a long way on a donkey,

the unborn Christ child she carried.

Back to the city from where Joseph

had once belonged,

To be counted for the census

they journeyed, the two of them alone.

When they arrived in Bethlehem

the city was filled within,

With fisherman, tailors and merchants

                        and all their next of kin.      

            Mary was tired and weary

                        with her time drawing near,

            To give birth

                        to a Heavenly Child so dear. 

No room in the inn

            and no warm bed,

They found shelter with dry hay

            in a barn instead. 

That night the long awaited babe was born,

            a gift greater than gold.

Fulfilling a prophecy the ancient saints

            had long ago foretold. 

With awe and love in her heart

            Mary wrapped Him in swaddling cloths,

And placed Him gently

            in the cattle’s troth. 

Angels worshipped and sang and

            there shone a great heavenly light,

out in the fields as the shepherds

            watched their flocks by night. 

“Go to Bethlehem

            and worship the newborn King,

for God has sent us a Savior”

                        the angels did sing.           

            What a joy and fulfillment

                        that first Christmas to tell.

            What great love God gave us

                        in Christ Jesus, our Emmanuel.           

            Why can’t we show love toward others

                        the rest of the year,

            And not just at Christmas time

                       should we care?           

            So don’t let your heart be a busy inn

                        and no room for thee.

            May it a cradle for the Living Christ

                        and His nativity.           

            Be thankful to God

                        in all He has done,

            Loving one another, for in His

                        power we have won.          

            With all our hearts and souls

                        we must ask Him to be our own

            and He will always comfort us.

                        We will never be alone.           

            To those who choose to follow Him

                        He will take away all our sin.

            Praise to God and may peace on earth

                        bring good will year long to all men.

 

                                    --- Linda Vittitow

How To Raise Kids In Today's X-Rated World

To raise children we need love, patience and wisdom.  The Bible has a great deal to say about the way we can successfully raise our children to be men and women of God.  We must first teach them the truth about God’s Word.  Biblical truth should be the foundation of our home.  They learn a lot through direct teaching, but they learn much more by watching us.  It is important to involve them in the church family when they are young.  We should set an example of going to church and making it a priority each week.  Allow them to see you studying the Word.

Prov. 24:3 – “By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established.”  There are no perfect mothers, fathers or children.  So don’t expect your children to be perfect.  Just simply prepare your kids for life and trust God to do the rest.  Luke 2:52 – “And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.”  We need to raise PG kids in an X-rated world.  The world is a mess!  How do you raise kids in a world like that?  We need to build spiritual filters to filter out all the junk in the world.

A parent’s job description – Deu. 6:7 – “Impress them on your children.  Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”  Wisdom starts with God.  We’re teaching all the time whether we realize it or not.  We need to teach them about Jesus and who He is.  This is your job not the church or Sunday the school teacher.  This goes for grandparents, too.

There are 3 things you learn from your family:
 

1.       Relationships – how to handle situations.  They need to learn to forgive and how to resolve conflicts.  Your happiness is determined by your relationships.  Your children need to learn to choose their friends wisely.  They will be influenced by their friends.

2.      Character – is what you are when you think no one is watching.  Good habits develop good character.

3.      Values – is what is important to you.  Teach your children right from wrong so they won’t be blindsided when they are away from you and go out into the world.

Protect your kids in the storms of life – make the home a safe place, a place of protection. Prov. 14:26 – “He who fears the Lord has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge.”  They need a safe and loving place to retreat when storms come.

There are 3 types of storms in life: 

1. Change – The world is constantly changing.  Our lives are constantly changing – our health, our jobs, our friends.  Teach them that Jesus doesn’t change.  He is the same today, yesterday, and tomorrow.
2. Failure – Failure is a part of life.  Teach them no one wins all the time.
3. Rejection – Rejection is a part of life and parents need to help them learn how to deal with setbacks.  Have you ever been the last chosen on the team when you were on the playground?  It hurts.

There are 4 ways to protect your family during these storms:

1.       Hear them– Listen to your children and to your spouse.  The media sure listens to them.  They call it marketing.

2.      Hug them –Express affection and let them know you love them.

3.      Give them Hope – Build them up and let them know things will get better.  Prov. 13:12 – “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.”

4.      Get Help – Do not be afraid to get help from a Christian counselor, if you need it.

Play with your kids for fun.  God has a sense of humor.  Next time you go to the mall just look at those around you.  1 out of 3 people are considered abnormal.  We need to laugh at ourselves sometimes.  God wants us to have fun.  Christians don’t need to be so serious and up tight.  Lighten up!  You have heard that the family that prays together stays together.  The family that plays together stays together.  “Children are a gift from the Lord.” – Ps. 127:3.  Gifts are meant to be enjoyed.

Point your kids to Jesus Christ.  Eph. 6:4 – “Father, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”  God loves your children more than you do.  God has given us the responsibilities to teach very important lessons - to teach our children about Him and to have faith.  Role modeling is the best way.  They need to see us trusting Christ in all situations.  They need to see that you have a personal relationship with Christ.

What will your kids say is the most important thing to you?  Does your check book and your calendar reveal who you really are?  Parents, it’s not too late to change.  First commit yourself to the Lord and kids will imitate you.  You have heard it said that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Time is the best gift you can give your kids.  The most important lesson that we teach our kids is to know God and love God with all their heart!  Phil. 3:8 – “What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things.  I consider them rubbish that I may gain Christ.” 

How are you doing teaching your kids?  The best thing for you to do is have a relationship with Christ.  Some say “I want my kids to decide for themselves what they believe.”  There is a French word for that – Bologna!  As parents we teach our children many things that matter in life, like how to have good health, safety, education, etc.  So we should teach them the most important thing which is who God is and to worship Him.  “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” – Prov. 22:6.

The Bible is our instruction book on how to be good parents.  It tells us how to teach, train and discipline them.  Here are a few scriptures on parenting.

“Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.” – Col. 3:21

“Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” – Eph. 6:4

“Pleasant words promote instruction.” – Prov. 16:21

“A wise man's heart guides his mouth, and his lips promote instruction.” – Prov. 16:23

“To show partiality in judging is not good.” – Prov. 24:23

“He who fears the LORD has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge.” – Prov, 14:26

“Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.” – Prov. 22:15

“He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.” – Prov. 13:24

“The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother.” – Prov. 29:15

“Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.” – Prov. 19:18

“Discipline your son, and he will give you peace, he will bring delight to your soul.” – Prov. 29:17

“Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die.  Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death.” – Prov. 23:13-14

“Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him.” – Ps.127:3

“The father of a righteous man has great joy; he who has a wise son delights in him.” – Prov. 23:24

“Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth.  Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.” – Ps. 27:4-5

“May the LORD make you increase, both you and your children.  May you be blessed by the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.” – Ps. 115:14-15

 
How are you doing in your parenting?
Do you pray for wisdom?
Do you pray for your kids?
Is your family fun?
Are you too busy to play with your kids?
What will your kids say is the most important thing to you? 

Let your life be found in this verse.  “But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” - Jos. 24:15
 

(This was taken from a message given by Mike James)

Letter From God

Let me say from the beginning this is not original.  I did not write this, but I read this somewhere and wanted to share it with you. 

Have you ever looked at yourself and feel that you don’t measure up?  Do you ever compare yourself with others and feel inadequate?  After reading this Letter From God I know your outlook and attitude will change before you finish. 

Dear Woman, 

When I created the heavens and the earth, I spoke them into being. Then I created man, formed him and breathed life into his nostrils.  But you, woman, I fashioned after I breathed the breath of life into man.  Because your nostrils are too delicate, I allowed a deep sleep to come over him so I could patiently and perfectly fashion you.  Man was put to sleep so that he could not interfere with the creativity.  From one bone, I fashioned you.  I chose the bone that protects man’s life. 

I chose the rib, which protects his heart and lungs and supports him, as you are meant to do.  Around this one bone, I shaped you… I modeled you. 

I created you perfectly and beautifully.  Your characteristics are as the rib, strong yet delicate and fragile.  You provide protection for the most delicate organ in man, his heart.  His heart is the center of his being; his lungs hold the breath of life.  The rib cage will allow itself to be broken before it will allow damage to the heart.  Support man as the rib cage supports the body.  You were not taken from his feet, to be under him, nor were you taken from this head, to be above him.  You were taken from this side, to stand beside him and be held close to his side. 

You are my perfect angel……You are my beautiful little girl.  You have grown to be a splendid woman of excellence, and my eyes fill when I see the virtues in your heart.  Your eyes…..don’t change them.  Your lips…..how lovely when they part in prayer.  Your nose….. so perfect in form.  Your hands….. so gentle to touch.  I’ve caressed you face in your deepest sleep.  I’ve held you heart close to mine.  Of all that lives and breathes, you are most like me. 

Adam walked with me in the cool of the day, yet he was lonely.  He could not see me or touch me.  He could only feel me.  So everything I wanted Adam to share and experience with me, I fashioned in you; my holiness, my strength, my purity, my love, my protection and my support.  You are special, because you are an extension of me.  Man represents my image, woman my emotions.  Together, you represent the totality of God.

Love,

God

 

Prayer

What is prayer? 

Prayer is spiritual communion with God as in supplication, thanksgiving, adoration, or confession.  We can pray anywhere and anytime.  There is no specific way to pray and no specific times we should pray.  All we need to do is speak to God from our heart.  We can pray silently or audibly.  We can pray alone or with a group.  We can pray while driving to work, school or to the grocery.  We pray over our food, when we lie down to sleep, when we awake each morning.  We pray when we are troubled and when we are happy.  We are to pray without ceasing.

The Bible has a lot to say about prayer.  There is no certain posture for prayer.  Your prayers don’t need to be wordy or have impressive speech.  "When you pray, don't babble on and on as people of other religions do. They think their prayers are answered only by repeating their words again and again." – Matthew 6:7.  “Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God.  God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few”. – Ecclesiastes 5:2.

Why should we pray?

Prayer develops our relationship with God.  Prayer is communicating with God.  It helps us grow closer and more intimate with Him.  God instructed us to pray and when we pray we are obedient to Him.  “Keep alert and pray.  Otherwise temptation will overpower you.  For though the spirit is willing enough, the body is weak!” – Matthew 26:41. 

 

Have you been praying and praying about something and it seem He doesn't hear you or is not answering?  Jesus tells us to be persistent in our prayer in His parable about the persistent widow.  “Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.” – Luke 18:1. 

We pray so we will know what God’s will is for our lives.  We pray to seek direction and wisdom.  Praying demonstrates our faith in God.  We pray for forgiveness of sins.  We pray for those who don’t know Jesus.  We pray for God’s provision.  We pray thanking God and praising Him for who He is and for what He has done.

If you don’t know how to pray, the Holy Spirit will help you.  “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness.  We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.  And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will.” – Romans 8:26-27.

The Bible says we are to pray with a humble heart and if we seek Him with all our hearts, we will find Him – Jeremiah 29:13.  We are to have faith when we pray. – Mark 11:24.  We are to be sure we have confessed our sins, because “… The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” –  James 5:16.

God hears our prayers and always answers them.  It may not be the answer we want, but He answers with, yes, no, or not now.  Remember God knows and wants what is best for us.  God wants us to pray with other believers and also to pray alone and in secret. 

How should we pray?

The “ACTS” Prayer is a good example of how pray.

A – Adoration – Praise God for who He is – holy, perfect merciful, loving, powerful, etc.
C – Confession – Confession allows us to clear away things which are displeasing to God by seeking His forgiveness.
T – Thanksgiving – We should thank God for the blessings He gives to us and for what He will give us.
S – Supplication – Now we can ask God for our needs and the needs of others.

God wants a relationship with us.  For our relationship with Him to develop we must talk with Him regularly.

How does prayer affect our lives?

When we face trying circumstances, it pays to pray.  Prayer relieves stress.  If we truly trust God, there is no need to be anxious or worry about the future.  Prayer does work.  There are numerous accounts in the Bible of answered prayers plus we all know stories of answered prayer from those around us.  God wants us to seek His help for our needs and desires.  When we pray, it draws us closer to God.

 

The Lord’s Prayer

Jesus is a prime example of living a life of prayer.  He prayed for God’s guidance and leading.  He prayed prayers of thanksgiving, prayers for healing, prayers for His disciples and prayers for believers both present and in the future.  In Matthew 6:9-13 Jesus teaches how to pray.  We do not need to use these actual words, but use them as a model.

“Our Father in heaven,” - He is the creator and the Great Parent of us all. “hallowed be your name,” – God is essentially holy.  We are to acknowledge the supremacy of God and His relationship to us. 
“your kingdom come,” – This is a wanting God to reign everywhere and that His laws be obeyed till the world is filled with His glory.  
”your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” – God’s will is that men should obey His law and live holy lives.
“Give us this day our daily bread.” – He tells us to pray for both our physical as well as our spiritual needs.
“And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.  – We are to have an attitude of forgiveness.  If we forgive others, then God will forgive us.
“And do not lead us into temptation,” – We are to trust God for deliverance over temptation (anything that tests our virtue) and sin.
“but deliver us from the evil one.” – The evil one is Satan.  Deliver us from his power, snares, temptations.
“For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever.” – God has control and power over everything and with Him all things are possible; and not our honor, but His be displayed through all the earth.

When do you pray? 

Do you only pray before the Thanksgiving meal or when you need something?
Do you find it hard to make time to pray?
We can take an hour out to exercise, watch TV, etc. so why not give time each day to God?
Do you offer praise and thanks to God for all He has done in our life?
Do you trust God will hear and answer your prayers?
 
Talk to God now.  He is waiting to hear from you.